I won $1,000 today and I don’t know how to spend it

There’s words and phrases being tossed around about me after 5-0 parlay today. “Legend”, “maniac”, “smartest man to ever live”, “6 pack and brains?” My life has taken the same trajectory as Tiger Woods top of the world only to fall only to rise again. This fucking guy is $1000 richer and fucking more attractive than you. Fuck you.

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