1/6 WEATHERMAN FITZ REPORT

Mother nature is really throwing a wrench into the famous “Bear Weather” tomorrow, with a predicted high of 39 degrees in Chicago. It’s going to be mostly cloudy with a east-northeast wind whipping at 12 mph (Codey Parkey if you’re reading this that’s for you). Some people could argue that 39 degrees is still cold, but as a fellow Midwesterner I’m going to say “you’re a bitch, 39 is spring weather”. Bears playoff games are supposed to look like they’re straight out of the Game of Thrones season 7 lake battle (video below if you have no idea what I’m talking about) AKA IT LOOKS FUCKING COLD.

I’ve decided to look at the weather with optimism instead of being a pessimist. For those who don’t know what those words mean, look it up yourself because I’m not your personal dictionary. I guess 39 degrees just means we get to go all the fuck out on offense. Flea-flickers, half back passes, linemen catching touchdowns, you name it Nagy doesn’t give a fuck and is going to run it. Philly has one special play “the philly special” jokes on them, we have the guy who threw that pass to Nick last year. “Super Bowl Champs” that barely scrapped their way into the playoffs, makes me sick.  Hope you had your fun last year Philadelphia, cause come 8 pm tomorrow you’ll be humiliated and eliminated.

BEAR DOWN

By: Marcus Fitzpatrick

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